So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
