too bad you live with your parents still
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
