oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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