Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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