Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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