I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
