I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
