Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
