He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
pop tarts are not kleenex
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize