He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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