just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
