I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
