There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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