with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
