what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize