I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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