There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
