If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
