yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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