we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
