We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
