Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize