After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
