Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
