I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
