I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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