sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
