I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
