My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
