Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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