I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
