Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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