One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Floor bacon is actually really good
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