When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
