People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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