2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
