What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
