yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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