I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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