He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
