ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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