i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
