I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
