I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
