pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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