She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
