So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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