just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
