what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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