I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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