so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have fence marks all over my body
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
