She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
