Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
