wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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