omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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