After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
