And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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