Whod you bang
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
