Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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