Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
