So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
