I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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