That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize