i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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