You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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