Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
