Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
