Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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