Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
