yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
