turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize