My pussy is not your playground.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
