I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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