WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize