and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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