Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
