you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
