ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize